The Fine Line between Self-care and Selfishness

                We are constantly bombarded with posts that quote “Self-care is Important”. However, sometimes we might feel that putting ourselves first and making our well-being a priority feels a bit selfish. It may be because we are programmed to think that way or we are people pleasers, or we are just used to self-sabotaging ourselves. Whatever be the reason, there is a fine line between self-care and selfishness that I want to talk about today.

To know the difference between self-care and selfishness, we need to understand why self-care is even required in the first place. 

Self-care is giving the world the best of you 
instead of what's left of you.
                                                 - Katie Reed. 

Self-care is caring for ourselves when we need it. It means putting ourselves first on our to-do lists and doing what makes us feel good. 

We’ve been conditioned to think that we should always be available to others. I mean, why would you take time for yourself when your family needs you or when your duty calls you, right? But let’s take a moment to recall how a balloon works. We blow air in it and it grows but if we constantly keep on blowing it, it bursts. Just like a balloon, we have our own emotional and physical capacity which gets exhausted if we overwork or overstress ourselves. 

If we don’t take enough time to practice self-care, we often project our stress on others through anger or irritation. There’s a saying that 'We can’t pour from an empty cup', which reminds us that self-care helps us replenish our energy so that we can feel like ourselves again when we get too drained.

When you feel like you need some alone time, you have it. You reward yourself with things you love, you have that ice-cream sundae you like, or you take out your sharpies and doodle on your notepad. To be precise, self-care can mean different things to different people. It just means to take a break from our duties and spend time to care for ourselves, guilt-free.

Taking care of yourself doesn't mean 
“Me first”, it means, “Me too”! 
                                                    – LR Krost

So, what is the difference?

Self-care comes down to two main things:

1.    Self-Awareness
        The first step is to acknowledge your needs i.e. being aware of your emotional and physical capacity.

2.    Intended Self-care
        The next step is to practice self- care by taking time for yourself before you hit the stage of burnout i.e. before you exhaust your emotional and physical capacity.

If you practice these steps, you are not selfish as you are someone who understands the importance of self-care and that you have needs as a human being. You care for yourself so that you can be emotionally available when others need you.

To be very candid, what distinguishes self-care from selfishness is our intention towards practicing self-care. And only you can decide your intent towards it.

Self-care is a term that is so overused that it can be confused with self-absorption. We need to be true to ourselves to know if we are being plain selfish or are we recharging ourselves. We can't fulfill the needs of the world if our own needs are left unattended. But are you just focusing on your own needs in the name of self-care while the world suffers? Then it’s time for some self-reflection.

Therefore, to wrap it up, self-care enables us to uplift others by uplifting ourselves. Selfishness on the other hand means to uplift ourselves while degrading others. Self-care means doing things while respecting our own boundaries i.e. doing things keeping in mind our emotional capacity and well-being. While we also have to do it in a way that doesn't sabotage our relations with our close ones. Hence it’s a delicate balance but it’s worth working on it every day to achieve perfection.

Thanks for Reading :)